In the
disillusioned world that is the television talent show, there are 2
types of 'shocking acts'. First, there
is the " she sounds like a
goose-being-flogged-senseless-with-a-knotted
rope type of shock" and then there is
the " omg-i-wansnt-expecting-THAT-to-happen!
type of shock " and it is the latter we
shall explore. These following acts sure
know how to sing an audition !
My top 5 '
unexpected shock ' acts are ...........
Paul Potts Singing Audition
First up in the "what the
f***" shock category is a
somewhat attractively challenged
phone salesman from erm, who
cares! Seemingly doomed to the
wannabe wheelie bin of
humiliation before a
note is even sung, we the
audience are about to witness a
singing audition that will
cleanly wipe the smug grin off
the face of Cowell & Co.
Somewhat surprising is that Paul
Potts simply oozes charisma and
star appeal from the second he
thuds on stage (Ed - OK that's
bull, I'm just trying to be
nice) but what is for certain is
that our dumpling faced nobody
from nowhere-land is about to
administer a shock akin to that
given only to death row inmates.
Thailand has erm... talent also
:-/
This next singing audition was
just plain weird. Taken from
Thailand's version of Britain's
Got Talent', this young lady
starts her song and all is well
until about 1 minute in when erm
um ..... I guess you'll just
have to watch and see. What more
shocking is the Far East's
answer to Ant and Dec! Very
funny. Enjoy!
A Totally
Retarded Singing
Audition
Look
readers, I had to go a bit off
topic for this one as it falls
into the 'shockingly bad'
category. Why am I adding this
one here? 2 reasons really.
Firstly because its my article so
I'm God and can do as I please :-) and
secondly, because this is, in my opinion
simply the most funniest and retarded X
Factor singing audition you'll ever see
:-D
Cheryl Cole / Tweedy / Sex
Goddess / Muppet
So your singing career is on the
up, you have looks that would
have Dale Winton nursing a semi
and you get offered the most amazzzzzzzing job in
the world - as an X factor judge! Only
problem is you forgot to mention on your
CV that your tend to crumble like a
zombies arse at the first sign of
pressure. Cheryl Cole, you're about as
tough as a Teletubbie at a tubby toast
making tournament. ( I think I just
invented a tongue twister there! )
Cheryl - Sit back down, stfu and look
pretty instead :-)
Ps: You should begin at 2:05
Even an ogre can
sin an audition
Ok, obviously a predictable
choice but Susan Boyle
embodies the 'I'm a freak but
f*** can i sing! genre'
Although questionably retarded, probably
not fully human and really not a face
one would like to wake up to, Susan or 'Subo'
as the media think tank creatively conjured up,
smashed all YouTube records with her
singing audition and has become, to coin
a nonsensical phrase, a worldwide
phenomenon. Word has it that Subo now
lives at Buckingham Palace and performs
privately to Prince William each night
whilst Kate is away. Subo, we salute
you!
