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Big Momma's House 2
  
The premise of this movie puts Big Momma (FBI agent Malcolm Turner (Martin Lawrence) and now an expectant father married to Sherry Pierce (Nia Long) from the first film) as an undercover nanny in the Orange County home of a suspicious computer-worm creator (Mark Moses), his high-strung wife (Emily Procter) and their neglected kids.
 
I have wrestled with this movie in the vain hope to try to pull some positive aspects out of this god awful mess but this is by far one of the worst film's I have seen for a very long time. This movie takes bad jokes from other bad comedies and regurgitates them, repeatedly. The cinematography is ugly and the script is so bad it is unreal.
 
I wanted to see the documentary film GRIZZLY MAN this week but sadly it is not showing at my local cinema in Bluewater, Kent and I will have to take a trip to London next week due to its limited release status, so that review will be forthcoming. Instead, I thought I would see this film in the interim for the readers of this web site and to avert my cinema withdrawal effects, so please take some time out to consider the pain and humiliation that I sometime have to endure to bring you these reviews on a weekly basis.
 
Writing this review, it suddenly dawns on me the only thing I can say positive about this film and that is of the bulging, dimpled totality of Martin Lawrence’s plus-size attire. Whether in a high riding swimsuit or the usual flower print dress, it is not hard to wonder at the advances in drag technology since Fatty Arbuckle, Some Like It Hot and Monty Python. However, that said; do not think for a second that this film is anywhere near as funny as those just mentioned are.
 
Naturally, saving the day includes straightening out a dysfunctional household: think Van Diesel in The Pacifier with unfunny jokes about enormous thongs, or a latex and foam enhanced Queen Latifah in Bringing down the House. To package things up Big Momma, once again, launches into the Mrs. Doubtfire approach by departing on the audience knowledgeable words on the importance of family, closing with the reminder that though she is unhappy to leave we should always be on the look out because you never know when Big Momma might pop up again. Is that a threat? The last thing we see is Lawrence flashing a disturbingly mischievous grin as the screen fades to black.
 
The mere suggestion of Big Momma 3 constitutes cruel and unusual punishment for audiences everywhere. Just our luck, there is probably already a script out there somewhere waiting to be unleashed. In fact, early on in the film, Turner (Lawrence) says, “I never turn down an assignment.” Is that a concealed message to the audience to obediently attend one stale comedy after another? This is your chance to decline this assignment and demand much, much better entertainment.
 
 
Paul Elliott

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